there i was, hurriedly trying to get seeds sorted and poked into the dirt, when i heard a vehicle approach. like the good, northern minnesota curmudgeon that i am, my first response was “who the hell is that?”
i went to the door and in front of me, was a chevy panel van with the silhouette of a cow on the side. it was the meat truck.
up here, we aren’t too proud to remove the tenderloins from the loser in an ungulate/vehicle collision and if there’s meat on the bone, we don’t give it to the dog, we make soup.
the driver got out and directly asked if i had a freezer.
“yeah, but it’s pretty small.”
“do you eat meat?”
“i prefer meat to all the other food groups, except ice cream.”
he looked at my solar panel array, and with a curious blend of befuddlement and envy said “you’re kind of living everyone’s dream here… do those things work?”
“perfectly”, i said.
the last sales-types that came to my door were a flock of jehovah’s witnesses and they didn’t make a sale. but this guy had meat, not blind promises of eternal life so when he talked, i listened.
“look, i ran out of cash and i need to get back to the cities. would you be interested in some meat?”
“what do you have?”
with that, he opened the van and crawled up into a chest freezer. he opened the lid and threw 8 flat boxes onto the floor. he opened each one, and the pride in his product was palpable. there were ribeyes and t-bones and ground sirloin and flat iron steaks and bacon-wrapped tenderloin.
“nice,” i said.
then the meat man began his pitch. “look, i need gas and i’m willing to sell you some of this for cheap…for gas.”
“i don’t have much freezer space.”
“these stack easily…space saving, shrink-wrapped, grain fed beef, from pipestone minnesota.”
“which meat can i have?”
“anything you want. two packages for 40 bucks worth of gas, and a little food money.”
perhaps the sound i heard in the distance wasn’t the roar of the mighty superior but instead, it was the sound of the turnip truck moving on to pay a visit to another clueless, north shore male.
“hmmm….” i thought while performing a cerebral price check of similar product in the local grocery store…”that’s a pretty good deal” and with that, the meatman didn’t make a sale, i did.
i grabbed a flat pack of ribeyes and ground sirloin and followed the van with the cow into tofte where i pumped gas into his tank, shook hands, then departed to admire my bounty.
i opened the boxes and like he said, they fit smartly into the freezer. nice, red meat that doesn’t look anything like roadkill. and to make things even better, i now know what the meat truck looks like.